


Shall We Dance?

by Swordy, waywardmelody



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Crack, Gladio is a gentleman, Inspired by Yuri!!! on Ice, M/M, Oh Iggy..., Too much alcohol, admission of feelings, chatroom conversation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 23:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12922602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swordy/pseuds/Swordy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardmelody/pseuds/waywardmelody
Summary: The morning after a gala dinner, Ignis is struggling to remember what happened. Sure, he had a drink, but he behaved impeccably.Didn't he?Written for Gladnis Week Day 2 prompt - OMG so drunk





	Shall We Dance?

**Author's Note:**

> When Way suggested we tackle this prompt together, I said 'sure, it'll be fun!' When she mentioned Ignis was like Yuri!!! On Ice's Yuri at the end of season party, I was like 'HELL YEAH, WE NEED TO DO THAT!' because of course Ignis would be awesome on the pole...

~*~*~*~*~*~

ChocoboBoy: Ugh. The next time someone suggests doing shots count me OUT.

Prince Charming: suuuure

Prince Charming: that's not what you said last night.

ChocoboBoy: I blame you. Or possibly Gladio.

SuperShield: Don't look at me. I told you those pink things were a really bad idea.

ChocoboBoy: They were Noct’s idea!

Prince Charming: hey!

ChocoboBoy: I bought the blue ones.

ChocoboBoy: and possibly the green ones...

Prince Charming: someone, not me, kept saying “shots, shots”. Looked like Gladio. Tall. Loud. Not wearing a shirt.

Specs: I'm somewhat concerned over my lack of recollection of last night's events.

ChocoboBoy: Oh, hey Ignis

SuperShield: how you feeling this morning?

Specs: I've a touch of a headache. And I seem to be missing a fair few things including my briefcase. I don't suppose any of you have seen it?

Prince Charming: just a headache? Wow.

ChocoboBoy: those things you’re missing… do they include your pants?

SuperShield: oh great…

SuperShield: well done big mouth!

Prince Charming: *facepalm emoji*

Specs: Come to think of it. I also happen to be missing my tie.

Specs: What exactly happened last night?

ChocoboBoy: I think Noct should explain. The party was in his honour, after all.

SuperShield: Real smooth prompto

Prince Charming: I see something.

Prince Charming: gotta go *Noctis has left the group chat*

Specs: What exactly needs explaining? What happened last night?

SuperShield: Iggy, you ever heard the expression ‘let sleeping dogs lie’?

Specs: I'm familiar with the colloquialism, yes. My question however, stands. I'm not in the habit of forgetting where I put my things. There are papers in my briefcase that are of an important and sensitive nature.

ChocoboBoy: no offence Iggy, but I think finding your briefcase is the least of your worries...

SuperShield: NOT HELPING MORON!

ChocoboBoy: sorry… how about telling us what you DO remember Ignis.

Specs: I remember the party, the beginning at any rate, and the purple drinks. Or they may have been pink. I'm not quite sure. My memory is a bit fuzzy. Something about dancing. Did I dance?

ChocoboBoy: did you….? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SuperShield: Oh FFS…

Specs: This is no laughing matter, Prompto.

Specs: Yes, I’m quite sure the tie is also missing.

ChocoboBoy: Did you check your head?

SuperShield: Prompto. A hangover’s gonna be the least of your worries soon…

SuperShield: Iggy. Maybe we should take this into private chat.

Specs: My head?

Specs: My thanks, Gladio. Perhaps that would be for the best.

******************

SuperShield: okay, well. When you arrived at the party, you said you hated makin small talk so I got you some champagne, to try and loosen you up a bit. You had a few glasses.

SuperShield: then you joined in with shots

SuperShield: and more champagne. I tried to stop you, but you said… don't make me say it. Let’s just say, you said there would be consequences if I stopped you.

Specs: You know I'm not giddy over social interactions, but mixing spirits is ill advised at the best of times.

Specs: I remember the champagne, but beyond that I...I'm afraid I don't recall.

Specs: I’ll need you to continue.

SuperShield: okay, but don't shoot the messenger.

SuperShield: so you were very drunk. I was gonna suggest you went and got some fresh air, but when I turned around, you were heading to the dancefloor…

SuperShield: are you sure you really wanna know all this?

Specs: Whether I actually want to or not is irrelevant. Based on the very odd way Prompto was behaving, Noct’s quick disappearance from our conversation and your reticence to continue, I’m afraid I must insist.

Specs: A dancefloor? Astrals, I don’t even recall there being a dancefloor. The only thing I seem to recall is a rather odd support beam in the center of the room. I suppose that holds some significance?

SuperShield: …

SuperShield: shit. you really don't remember anything, do you?

SuperShield: okay, one thing at a time. You were on the dance floor and you started challenging people to a dance off.

Specs: I truly don’t. Which is disconcerting enough, in and of itself.

Specs: What? I…

Specs: ...please tell me you’re joking, Gladio.

Specs: People? Plural, as in more than one person? Good gods.

SuperShield: well first there was the marshal…

Specs: You can’t be serious.

Specs: And he said yes to this?

SuperShield: fortunately not. Libertus on the other hand…

Specs: What did the marshal say?

Specs: The glaive? I’m not even certain I know him in more than passing.

SuperShield: after last night you can consider yourself more intimately acquainted.

Specs: Did I...what exactly did I do, Gladio? Please be plain.

SuperShield: you know the expression ‘it takes two to tango?’ Well there were two of you. And you tangoed.

SuperShield: Also, Cor said he was impressed with your footwork. But I think he was just being polite.

Specs: If there is a euphemism here, I do wish you’d let me know it.

Specs: I’m embarrassed enough at it is, and the laundry list of apologies I owe to people is immense. It’s no wonder Noctis left as quickly as he did.

Specs: Good footwork, is it? Well, I’ll take the compliment however it was meant.

SuperShield: That’s the spirit. Regis was definitely impressed by your upper body strength when you moved onto the pole…

Specs: ...so the King was there. I was, well, I was dearly hoping that was not the case.

Specs: I hesitate to ask, but, pole?

SuperShield: I gotta say, you're taking this very well…

Gladio : But yeah, there was a pole, don't ask me why. After your dance off with Libertus some of the other glaives were keen to see what you could do. You were totally game.

Specs: Were you actually here, you’d know that I’m hardly ‘taking this very well’, Gladio. However, in the face of learning you’ve heartily embarrassed yourself, and in front of not only your peers but your King one does need to exude an air of calm.

Specs: Also, it’s very hard to discern tone in a chat.

SuperShield: well like I said, Regis found it highly entertaining. My dad on the other hand… like I said, I tried to stop you, but seriously though Iggy, you've got some fuckin MOVES!

Specs: So I danced on a pole. Should I also assume that my missing pants and tie were additions to last evening's festivities?

Specs: I have at one point or another been described as “bendy”.

Specs: But please continue.

SuperShield: Bendy?? Shiva’s tits…

SuperShield: but uh, yeah. You said your pants were ‘too restrictive’ and they were last seen being hurled on top of a pot plant. Technically you *did* keep your tie on, but you were wearing it round your head. It was an interesting new look for you Iggy…

Specs: I see.

Specs: So I fashioned myself stripper in the middle of the royal retinue and in the company of a great many important people?

Specs: Is there anything else I should add to this lengthy list of indiscretions?

SuperShield: depends

Specs: Tell me everything, please.

SuperShield: you sure? Last chance to back button the fuck outta this conversation Iggy…

Specs: How could it get worse?

Specs: Please, enlighten me.

SuperShield: Okay… well after you got done… you came over to me and (and this is the gods honest truth) you said

SuperShield: (verbatim)

SuperShield: GLADIOLUS AMICITIA. NEXT I WANNA CLIMB YOUR POLE.

SuperShield: and you winked.

Specs: Ah.

Specs: It seems I’ll be drafting a letter of resignation shortly. All the behavior you described is as unfitting a royal retainer as I can possibly comprehend. My sincerest apologies can do nothing to assuage the embarrassment his majesty and Noct must have felt.

Specs: Regardless of the truth of whatever I might have said to you, the level of disrespect I showed is astounding and at an incomparable level. In this at least and can beg your apologies. I’m sorry Gladiolus.

SuperShield: Ignis, shut the fuck up for a second okay?

SuperShield: No one’s resigning from anything. They'll get over it, and no one will be remotely interested in the pictures in a week’s time.

Specs: Pictures, of course.

SuperShield: I just need to ask - do you wanna climb my pole?

Specs: If you reread more carefully, you may find the answer to your question already. Though it hardly matters. Drunken confessions seem on par with this whole experience.

SuperShield: it matters to me.

SuperShield: let's just say my pole would be very receptive to you climbing it. :)

Specs: ...even after?

SuperShield: you fuckin kidding me? Iggy, you were hotter than Ifrit’s ass crack in a sauna.

Specs: Gladio?

Specs: How much can you carry?

SuperShield: I dunno. About two hundred and eighty pounds? Why?

Specs: I'm exactly one hundred and seventy-four.

Specs: The mettle of your strength against my flexibility?

Specs: And I'm not certain I won’t tender my resignation. But I'm willing to be convinced. Perhaps more than once, depending on your refractory period.

SuperShield: Hang on a sec. I'm just gonna run that through the IgnisScientia-translator I have on my phone...

SuperShield: I *think* this means you wanna bone me, right?

Specs: Must you be so crass?

SuperShield: you know you can't spell crass without ‘ass’ ;-)

SuperShield: I'm just yanking your chain Iggy. Truth is, I really do like you. Have done for a while now. I just wasn't sure whether I should say anything or not. I thought you'd probably laugh and say something like ‘you're *hardly* my type, Gladiolus.’

Specs: Since we're being quite honest, no, I don't wish to ‘bone’ you, but I do want to lower myself atop you and find out exactly how you look when you come undone.

SuperShield: is it me or is it hot in here?

Specs: I’ve felt the same, Gladio. I feel the same.

SuperShield: not that this isn’t the best news ever, Iggy but I gotta ask - this isn't still the drink talking is it?

Specs: I might have imperfect recollection, but I assure you my feelings are genuine.

SuperShield: In that case, I wanna do it right. I know drinks are probably the last thing on your mind at the moment, but I'd like to take you out sometime if you're up for it?

Specs: Are you going to romance me, Gladiolus?

SuperShield: if you'll let me. And I want you to know, this isn't just about how hot you looked when you were dancing.

SuperShield: Even though I wouldn't mind a (private) repeat performance sometime. ;-)

SuperShield: Sorry, just ignore me. I really really like you, so yeah I wanna romance you Iggy.

Specs: I'm receptive to the proposition, but there's one caveat.

SuperShield: which is?

Specs: Let me do the same for you.

SuperShield: Iggy, there’s not a man on Eos who’d say no to that. Just tell me when and I’ll be there.

Specs: Twenty minutes?

Specs: I need some time to limber up.

  
**End**

 


End file.
